The Priorities Committee (by K.E.M.) An outsider's impression. Characters: Wilkes Mike Woollett Mutch Sid Barton Miller Peter Chamberlain Gill Donald willis Douglas Gordon Stevens Hartree Ken Machin Cleaner Margaret Hartree As the curtains (if any) open (if possible) we find a table with one large and impressive chair, and five ropey old chairs. A Cleaner enters, carefully polishes the large chair and gives the others a cursory flick of the duster. Enter Wilkes, Mutch, Miller, Gill, Dougles and Hartree [in pencil] Wilkes (look at watch) Has anyone seen Miller ? [in pencil] Mutch He's upstairs - he'll be down in a minute Wilkes: Well gentlemen, we have a large number of enquiries this week ... Miller: Before we get to them could I have a word? I've got a new program to find the largest possible integer, and I'd very much like to try it out. Hartree:What good will it be? Miller: Well, in 1573 a Czecho-Slovakian arrow-sharpener called Zwkwp, who was a bit of a mathematician in his spare time, predicted that 2^137-1 was the largest possible integer, and nobody's been able to prove or disprove it since. Gill: But what good ... Wilkes: I think we must get on. Now what have we to consider first? Douglas:I was approached the other day by a man from the Department of Cybernetic Palaeontology. Gill: What on earth does he want to do? Douglas (picking up paper): "An investigation of the cross-correlation between orthogonal Whifflepoof functions and normalised Fumble factors". Wilkes: But surely this isn't ... Douglas:He's going to publish the results in the Proc. Camb. Phil. Soc. Wilkes: Oh, in that case ... Mutch: Job no.5237. There's a letter here from a man in Oxford (shambles breaks out) (Mutch raising his voice) He says "Dear Sir, my friend Lord Nuffield tells me ...." Wilkes: Well, I don't think we need to discuss this any further. Give him a job number, Mutch, and send him an illuminated Fully Authorised User's Licence. Miller: About my largest integer program .... (everyone starts talking rapidly; they fade out one by one, leaving Hartree saying) Hartree: ... a new orchestration of the Messiah for the Philarmonic. I'm going to use tank one for strings, tank two for woodwinds, tank three for brass, and tanks four to thirty-two for the percussion. I think 4D will be sufficient for the conductor ... Gill: But surely the output is going to be difficult? Mutch: Well, the Hollerith's people have started work on a tape-to-manuscript convertor which will probably be very useful for a door- stop when this project is finished. Wilkes: I think there's no doubt that an acknowledgement to the Laboratory would look very well on the posters, so I think we must give all possible facilities for this job. Douglas: I remember when I was in Poonah one of our subalterns was able to play a tune on the tracks of a Bren-gun carrier ... Wilkes: Yes, no doubt. Well gentlemen, i'm afraid we've got to the end of this month's ration of job numbers. Mutch, will you send the usual reply ..."fullest consideration" ... "deeply regret" ... "machine time precious", etc. to all these other people? (Throws other pile of letter into the w.p.b.) now what about today's issue of Operating Memoranda Mutch: I thought we ought to issue one about not taking the Petty Cash to the Bun Shop. Miller: Yes, I think that's a good idea, could you also mention that if anyone wants to use my largest integer routine to find the largest integer for himself ... Wilkes: And talking of routines, remeber that M.93 is now available in the library. Gill: And that W.2 has been withdrawn, having been sold to Ferranti's. Douglas:And that people who want to use the machine after six should present their passes to the night constable at the door ... Mutch: I think those five will be enough for today. We'll put the rest in tomorrow's issue. Gill: Shouldn't we consider the Summer School now? After all, I shall be at Harvard then. Wilkes: Well, since Hartree and I are going abroad to visit the Societe Anonyme des Basheurs-up des Machines de Computation and the Automatischemathemicalischemachinengesellschaft, I was thinking that Mutch and Miller ... Mutch: I think I'm going to be in Manchester. Miller: And I shall be rather busy with my largest integer routine. Wilkes: Douglas? Douglas:Well, actually, ... Wilkes: Ah, yes. Hockey. Still, I think we shall be quite happy to leave all the organisation in the capable hands of Stevens. BLACKOUT Props required: table 1 impressive chair 5 ropy chairs odd pieces of paper w.p.b. duster