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Vampire mermaids and the legions of the undrowned.

Now gather round children, and let me tell you the tale of how the Queen of the Vampire Mermaids finally met her prince and lived happily ever   after.

As you all know, Kylie Woyote, queen of the vampire mermaids, hailed from below the great barrier reef. She long preyed on victims who were wiped out before their time, and who she dragged down to join the legions of the undrowned and live and serve her and her sisters.

Then of course, there was the mortal human Jason Thunderbolt, a surfer dude, whose board is a 5 string electric guitar, and who bears a remarkable resemblance to Keith Richard. Indeed, this has led many to question his  mortality, in the first place

The Queen had  seen Jason often from afar, and was unbearably smitten with undying love. However, since he was such a proficient surfer,  he simple never wiped out, so she never got the chance to capture him  and bring her to her eternal palace in the deep below the coral

In any  case, it  is a matter of legend that the Queen was really, like Mary of Scotland rather clumsy and inept, and she would have had a very hard time laying a hand on so lithe and fit a specimen as Jason. She tried. She played many many traps for the surf-runner (meep meep).

She had her princesses write off to the famous ACME company of California for great white shark kits, which she had them dot around the reef at suitably scary locations, in the hope that Jason would be startled and fall. He laughed. He shredded, He swept and strummed and powered and foamed his way right through every one of  them.

She wrote to her cousins in the deep, and summoned them in their ghostly pirate ships to sail around disguising the high waves that should knock Jason off his board. It seemed he sensed the waves through his  feet - maybe the pickups on the guitar helped, and so this was all to no avail

Finally, she caused a tsunami by having the legions of the undrowned empty ten thousand boxes of square deal surf into the sea above the palace.

Jason paused and looked around at the suds and declared “Finally, someone has cleaned up this place, and it is fit for a king” - he dove down to join Queen Kylie, and the rest passes into mystery, but it is said that by day, he is a sea horse, and by night, the legions of the undrowned dance  underwater in the coral mosh pits to his music. Even we Selkie far away in Ultima Thule have heard the songs played on the pipes - when going into battle with the Kraken, nothing stirs the spirit quite as much as Torn and Frayed.

waving not drowning