Jon 5/1/2024

Net Zero Cauldron

Carbon Negative Thinking amongst the Wicca

The coven started to worry about the world some time before any one else got hot under the collar. Of course, this was due to the lower availability of mandrake roots and other rare plants due to die off. Indeed, familiars were harder to come by since the habitat damage from smog then acid rain then UV, then cold rain and snow.

They decided that something must be done.

While their powers were not infinite, for example, they could not simply put a cloak around the earth to ward off too much sunlight, they could use some more traditional means to encourage better behaviour amongst the herd. In fact it occurred to them that perhaps the problem was not the herd at all, but the  1%.

Turning frequent flyers into zombies would not be noticed by anyone for several years, but planting a tree inside every jet-setting CEO and political leader might cause a bit of a stir. As with Brexit, rebuilding the land-bridge between Lowestoft and the Hague had put an end to that nonsense. And also provided several nice mid-way landing spots for tired older sisters whose broomsticks weren’t build for rough channel crossings any more.

And that fossil fuel curse turned out to be very successful - now so many of the oily gassy investors were just so much anthracite and LPG or just gone up in smoke (oops, unintended consequences of some magic was never fully avoided).

Reversing the de-forestation was proving tricker, especially since there was a risk of being accused of hypocrisy (after all, the broomsticks were made of wood too). But then that challenge was solved too.  The rain forest canopy was perfect for Baba Yaga to hide in, and her method of flying needed only an old iron kettle or even a pestle and mortar. Woe betide anyone who got in her way, or her disciples. The arts of sustainable witchcraft were saving the planet faster than any number of pesky wind farms or solar panels or air source heat pumps. Although those were mostly welcome now that the wolves had returned to the forests.  The air was clear, the deer population was under control, and the hunters and gatherers had re-learned all those ancient superstitions that turned out to be true.